How do you take care of yourself when you need to cry?

I had a rough day recently where a great sense of emotional pain arose inside of me. There is a story behind the feeling but for now I’d like to focus on the experience of being with the pain.

I struggled… I tried several different tools like journaling and taking a walk, a hot shower. It felt like there was no escape. The pain was so strong and so clear. It would not be ignored.

I finally paused and asked myself what I needed.

I heard, “Cry, Emily, you need to cry.”

I put on a song called Rue's Farewell from The Hunger Games soundtrack. I’ve been drawn to this song before when I’ve really been hurting. I let myself disappear into the music and weep. I felt like a child crying and crying, aching and crying. I really let go into it. I called out from the excruciating sensation in my chest. I can remember at one point hoping my husband wouldn’t hear me in the next room because it felt so vulnerable and intense.

It was hard at first to stay with it and let it express… then it got easier and easier… the release… the relief.... to truly let the feeling fully express however it wanted to and for as long as it needed.

It naturally stopped in it’s own time. I cuddled myself up and gently feel asleep.

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

Many of us don’t feel safe to cry in public places or with other people, even those closest to us.

Many of us don’t even feel safe to cry with ourselves.

The next time you genuinely want or need to cry perhaps notice how you treat yourself.

Do you let yourself cry? Do you hold it in? Do you tell yourself, “Stop it, you’re fine. There is no reason for you to cry.” Do you cry later when you are alone and feel safe?

Sometimes we know why we need to cry and sometimes we don’t know why.

How do you take care of yourself when you need to cry?